On 12/26/2025 5:10 PM, candycanearter07 wrote:

Spalls Hurgenson <spallshurgenson@gmail.com> wrote at 22:18 this Wednesday (GMT):

On Wed, 24 Dec 2025 15:01:42 -0500, Mike S. <Mike_S@nowhere.com>
wrote:

On Wed, 24 Dec 2025 12:08:54 -0500, Spalls Hurgenson
<spallshurgenson@gmail.com> wrote:

GlaDOS vs SHODAN.
But I never played Portal so I have no idea who would win that one.

Oooh, that's a good one.

I think one 'rule' of the tournament should be that, when facing off
against each other, the combatants should be at their maximum strength
as seen in the games. So, to bring it back to DoomGuy, if he's in the
arena, he's represented as we see him in "Doom Eternal" (a god-slaying
bad-ass) and not the overly aggressive space marine from the 1993
game. Another rule should be that the arena is fairly neutral, where
neither side has significant advantage.

If we accept these conditions, SHODAN has this one beat. GlaDOS is
mean, but most of her 'powers' come from manipulating the Aperture
Science Facility. She can move the floors and walls (and pump deadly
neurotoxin into the air) but beyond that? She's not really that
bright, and can't do that much. Take her out of Aperture, and she's
just a cranky computer.

JUSTIFIABLY cranky, mind

SHODAN, on the other hand, achieves reality-warping powers by the end
of "System Shock 2" thanks to her manipulation of the Von Brauns FTL
drive. (Being the villain of the piece, she was fortunately defeated
before she could DO very much with that power, but at the height of
her might? She was deadly). She also has 'all ethical restraints
removed'; Shodan isn't just cranky, she's MEAN.

SHODAN also is far smarter (a mere sub-node of her intelligence
created an entire species!) and her robots are far, far more deadly.
Her greatest weakness is her arrogance, but that's a trait also shared
by GlaDOS.

I think it really comes down to how much agency we give the AIs in the
physical world, because, after all, in the end these are just digital
intelligences with little ability to do things directly themselves.
They need 'tools' to make their mark on their worlds, whether this
means the floors of Aperture Science or killer robots and mutants. But
even so, I think SHODAN's reality-warping powers and sheer, malicious
intelligence give her a significant edge. Heck, place the SHODAN core
in Aperture Science Facility, and I'm not sure she'd come out second.
SHODAN doesn't fuck around.

There's also the issue about what counts as "winning" for either? Like,
both AI's could just do the thing where they copy themself onto the
internet and suddenly its an infinite stalemate. The only thing I could
think of to measure that is how well one could hijack the other's code
and gain full control.

So I'd give victory to SHODAN, with the only real question being the
ease with which she achieves her success being dependent on the
starting conditions. If she starts out in Aperture Science, it'll be a
hard fought battle that's very touch and go at the start. If SHODAN
starts on Citadel Station... well, the bitch has a mining laser that
could core out the entirity of Aperture twenty seconds after the
starting bell. ;-)

Victory: SHODAN.

Who's next?

(Just remember, in the end the ultimate victor will be Mr. Rogers in a
blood-stained sweater)

You know what, lets do something sillier:
Villager (Animal Crossing) vs Villager (Stardew Valley)

(idk that many "modern" games lol)

Throw the minecraft ones in, and you got a brawl.

The real question is do the minecraft villagers get one of their iron
golems or not? If not they're toast. If so they win.

--
-Justisaur

?-?
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